Citizen TV journalist Kimani Mbugua got candid about his past struggles. In an emotional post, he wasted no time opening up about his own experiences and how he battled depression.
He reflected on the hardships he faced while growing up after been brought up by strict parents who forced him to focus only on books.
According to the presenter, his depression began when he joined Moi University in 2013 and neither his parents nor siblings knew what was going on. He went to reveal he was an introvert and shut the world out since nothing was working out.
More problems were yet to come on his way after his father lost all the property due to poor investment decisions. Despite having two relatives at the university, they couldn’t help him out.
Kimani explained that it’s when he opted for suicide. He had three options to end his life, jumping off a waterfall on my campus, jump off the fourth floor of my hostel or starve myself and opted for the last one. Luckily his cousin came and saved him.
He said : “In early 2014, things took a turn for the worse when I contemplated suicide. I wanted to end it all, the devastating feeling of not making it in life. I went to Facebook and wrote my own eulogy, posted a picture and told my ‘sorry self’ RIP.
After the well-crafted post, I contemplated three options to take my life; to jump off a waterfall on my campus, jump off the fourth floor of my hostel or starve myself. Fear took control of me and I dismissed the first two options while settling for the final one.
Nothing mattered and I began starving myself. During my quest to end my life, on the third day when I was frail and weak and almost succumbing in, my cousin visited me.
I have to admit there was a sigh of relief knowing that someone actually cared and came to look for me. I was ashamed of myself so I didn’t tell him I was starving myself so that I will die. At some point, I wanted to wake up but I couldn’t get myself out of bed.”
Today Kimani Mbugua is in a much better place thanks to therapy.
” Now I know how to manage it. Some days I get into those moments but I have sought help especially with panic attacks because they can be triggered by anything. I got out of the worst phase and I’m seeing a therapist,” he said.
In a final note, he encouraged people not to be ashamed of their struggles and share it with someone.
” Anyone, even people with glamorous jobs, can get depression. No one is immune to real-life problems, bad days at work, being in debt and pain. If you are going through it talk to someone. See a therapist. Find something you like doing. Don’t be ashamed.”